How To Be Happy At Work

by Debra Merrill Wisconsin Woman February 2003

Are you happy with your job? If not, you feel the same as a growing number of Americans. A national survey conducted last March by The Conference Board found that only 51 percent of those surveyed were satisfied with their jobs. And not only that, satisfaction levels had dropped eight percent since the survey was previously conducted in 1995 -- not too surprising given that we're still in the do-more-with-less business mode. Recognizing that responsibility for happiness starts within ourselves, what can we do to start being happier at work?

There are three common reactions to work dissatisfaction, according to Hava Kohl-Riggs, personal and career life coach and licensed clinical social worker. First, we can choose to ignore the situation, internalize it and create other stress for ourselves. Carried far enough, this scenario can result with getting fired. Another reaction is to play the blame game. And the third choice? (And make no mistake, the decision to be happy at work is a choice.) "Look inside yourself and determine what is in yourself that you can adjust to be happy," she says. After all, we know that it's impossible to change others -- we really only have control over ourselves. So working on what we can change within ourselves is a smart move.

To be truly happy at work, the work we do should be suited to us and our purpose in this life, says Kohl-Riggs, "Look at what you like to do, what gives you enjoyment, what matches your values," she says, "Your gifts should be matched to your job."

Here, clarity is important, "A lot of times we know what we don't want," she says. "It's important to have a vision of what we do want," Once we know what we want, we can start pursuing it and letting others know of our desires. One of Kohl-Riggs' clients was unhappy with her job. After some soul searching, she wrote up her idea of the "perfect" job description and presented it to her supervisor. Bingo. She got what she wanted.

When presenting requests like this to a supervisor, Judy Collins of Collins Coaching, LLC, believes in doing your homework ahead of time, preparing cost information, and researching other viable options. "The more specific you've framed your request and the more doable it is for the supervisor, the more likely they'll go for it," she says. You'll be taking positive action and not expecting your superiors to solve all your problems. And another upside to being prepared -- the more prepared you are, the less frightening it'll be to approach your boss.

Being specific also works with difficult coworkers. For instance, asking a noisy neighbor to be more courteous might not get the response you want. Asking for a specific behavior will get better results. In this case, you could say something like, "When you see that I'm on the telephone, I'd appreciate it if you could refrain from talking loudly to Sally over the cubical wall."

In a situation where one of her clients is unhappy with work, Carol Muller, business and life coach, advised them to ask themselves, "What can I do?" She believes in empowering people to solve their own problems and helps clients prepare for difficult conversations with supervisors or coworkers by role playing. As a manager herself, she appreciates it when employees bring potential solutions along when raising issues. It's easier to become dissatisfied with work if expectations are unrealistic, "Some people come to work expecting work to meet all their needs," Mueller says. You can develop new interests and friendships outside of work to enrich your life and provide creative outlets or social interaction

Working women commonly struggle with balancing work and raising a family. "The burden of both working and raising a family is too heavy to bear all the time," she says. "When you're at work, try just being a work and picking up on home on home one the way out the door," She believes that bearing the load of one thing at a time -- in effect taking a break -- will help gain a fresh perspective.

If at some point you've tried all the possible solutions that re available to you but you're still unhappy with your job, you may determine that you would enjoy something else more. But beware, Changing companies doesn't always solve the problem. "People take themselves along," Mueller says, "Unless you're willing to be analytical about your situation, your behavior at your new job will trigger the same response in others and you'll end up in the same situation all over again."

When you've determined your current job isn't a good fit, Laurie Shakur, a business advisor and owner of Shakur Consulting, suggests thinking about what is important you you in a new job. It might be location or work-life balance or the chance to do something new. Then do some research on the new potential company, whether it be visiting their website or a retail location or reading an annual report. Armed with this knowledge, "you can make sure an organization's culture matches your values," she says. And when interviewing, ask to talk not just with the hiring manager but also potential peers and customers. "Interview the company as they interview you," she says. "By doing that, you'll feel much more empowered, and you'll also be much more confident."

And one very last specific piece of advice from Collins" Stop thinking about being happy at work as something that only happens to other people. "Give yourself permission to be open to the idea that it's not only possible for you to be happy at work but tat it's a worthwhile goal," she says.